Ideas

Something like a dream
Dazed you walk beside me
Footsteps barely visible

No one can tell
That you were even here
But I hear you say it's this way you prefer

Preference likened to aged merlot left out in the sun
Bitter and warm to the tongue

So my skin like sparkling wine refreshes your appetite
But can it satisfy

The mirage that once lie before your eyes
Now unveiled the lie
that I am ordinary

No reason to give extra thought to what you've easily won
A prize handed to you without battle
Has no value

But the idea of me
was priceless

E. Glover 2018

Let My Voice Be Heard

My pearls cast before swine seeking to soil my soul
Breaking up headstones of my ancestors
Sowing seeds of discord and deceit,
Disillusioned youth sit idly by as right and wrong fade into obscurity
As rights
Fade into obscurity

Unaware of the cost
Hard fought and wrenching tears of my great-grandmother
Taking a long walk home instead of a back seat
So we could dine inside
Making the front doors and seats of this nation ours

Hours pass as we wait words of comfort
For mothers whose only induction in this movement
Come through injustice and loss

And justice is loss
Out of reach for those who can't pay
But haven't we paid enough
This nation's soil soaked with the blood of slaves
Never offered an option on a middle passage that tore them from home and country
Language and identity

How can we be anything but American? When we never had a say
And now I say
Rise up and take the land that your fathers toiled
Change has come 
Cooke's prophesy,
Martin's dream,
Malcolm's zeal
Poured out on this people
Our people
Your people

We hold these truths to be self evident that ALL men
Never meant me
My sons, my daughter
So I refuse to stay silent
Til equality rings loud as wisdom in His word
In a nation desperate for change
Let my voice be heard
Let my vote be counted

E. Glover, 2016

Dreams

Longing whispers deep into dark spaces of my mind
Secluded and void of contact
they wither
Like fruit left out on a summer's day
The sweetest honey becomes grapes sour enough to pucker
lips left unkissed
Hands unheld grow cold
Touch a fading memory
Like Polaroid cameras and cds
Outdated and useless
Is love without sacrifice
Committed only to selfish ambition
Dreams crushed under the weight
The wait
Too long
I long
Til my dream's nothing more than an apparition
Til resentment is all I have left

Midnight ramblings

Ever find yourself mindlessly roaming social media at the wee hours of the morning. Well maybe that's just me...checking up the happenings with old friends and acquaintances I'm always promising to keep in touch with but never seem to...smiling at the funny videos they post or commiserating with them over some twice removed calamity. Then it starts to creep up on me...you know it. That familiar feeling that everyone else seems to be moving forward in life yet you feel like a hamster on the wheel going nowhere fast. Jealousy creeps in at the sight of engagements and weddings or the new homes and fancy vacations those less encumbered are enjoying, meanwhile you stretch out your work day to take care of home and barely squeeze in an hour (particularly this LATE hour) to unwind. So what do you do at that point, what do I do? Does the desire to covet lead me to destruction...it certainly can. I've learned from others mistakes a quite of few of my own that just because it looks good doesn't mean it's beneficial.

So what I do is this...first sip a warm cup of tea (always puts me to sleep), then offer all of this up to God with the acknowledgement that he is the ULTIMATE authority. If I had taken the road "frequently traveled" I would never have the opportunity to enjoy the scenery, to bask in the light of God's glory lighting my path, his voice leading me onward when its all I have left. He knows what I need when I need it...I've gotta trust him. Be blessed and encouraged.


"The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." -1 Thessalonians 5:24

Words On A Page (Poem)

Words on a page

Why is it always so hard to love?

Hard to hope

Hard to believe

Hard to bear and endure

Why couldn’t life be like a movie script?

Written and directed by us

Starring the greatest moments of our existence

And missing all those memories we wish we could edit away

Our first crush, there                                                   

Our first kiss, there

Our first heartbreak, gone

Love in itself is a mystery

To care more for others than self is beyond our sinful nature

But it is through receiving God’s love

That we learn to give it away

You must first learn to love yourself

As you are

As God made you to be

And then most importantly to love him

Above All things

To be content with Him alone

For He IS love

To believe that he will withhold no good thing from us

We must willingly lose what we have

To gain all that he has for us

For his plan is flawless

See He decides the when, where and how

We just decide to follow

To obey Him even when it hurts

Even when we don’t want to let go

To choose walk alone with God is no easy task

To trust that he will guide you in His perfect will

Sounds simple

But these growing pains, they’re real

Lord you’ re stretching much more than my faith

Developing in me perseverance, character and hope

Still at times I feel like I’m walking through a desert with only a mirage ahead of me

And the sandstorm I left on my heels

Time after time I’ve prayed that you would send someone to complete me

To lift me when I’m feeling low

To hold me when I’m too weak to walk this road

To hear my pleas and console my fears

To dry my tears

To love me, deeply

Without condition

Imperfect as I am

It’s at those times that your answer is

I already have

Your word declares that I need not be afraid

Because you live with me

You are my savior

You delight in me with gladness

With your love, you calm all my fears

And when I find myself like Paul

Begging you to remove this thorn in my flesh

You gently whisper to me

That your grace is all I need

That your power works best in my weakness

So I look not at the troubles I see before me

But fix my eyes upon the things I cannot

For these trouble are passing

Much like this life

But the promise I have in you is for all eternity.

©2008 Elaine Glover

Counting down...

Counting down the days until these humbled feet touch down on Haitian soil.
Counting down the hours until these grateful hands can serve the Haitian people.
Counting down the minutes until these opened eyes can capture the beauty of the land that you've created and the people that you lived, died and rose again to life for.
Counting down the seconds until this heart is so overwhelmed by you that I cannot imagine that you have chosen me to reach this precious land, these people that you treasure...Lord let me not take lightly one moment, not miss one opportunity to show your love...feels like I'm coming home...

Ayiti jan m 'renmen ou. Ayiti ki jan mwen te rate ou 
(Haiti how I love you, Haiti how I've missed you)

Fundraising updates!

I hope all is well and want to start off by thanking everyone for their continued support and prayer for the missions trip. I've learned that I'm almost halfway towards reaching my goal of $1,520.00 and with just a little more than a month left to fundraise (May 25th is the deadline) I'm certain that God will provide. When I first learned of this opportunity I joyfully proclaimed "I'm going." As a parent of three it's easier said than done, but God has made the way before to allow me to minister abroad. This time of preparation has allowed me to grow closer to God and the teammates I will serve with in Cap-Haitien, Haiti through our team meetings, fundraising events and fellowship. I'm so thankful for all of the love and support God has surrounded me with. I'm also thankful for the leadership in place that challenges us to go deeper in our walk with God and the understanding of task ahead of us. I pray that God will continue to bind us together as we get closer to our trip date.

I also pray that you would prayerfully consider supporting myself and our teams efforts either through donating items to be sold at our upcoming flea market at Harvest Fields Community Church (May 3rd & 4th) or stopping by those two days to peruse our flea market or donating directly towards this effort to Harvest Fields Community Church , 2626 East Tremont Avenue Bronx, NY 10475. If you would like your fundraising to go directly towards meeting my personal goal please be sure to include my name in the notation or Haiti Missions Trip to support the team as a whole.

Finally, as we enter into this weekend and reflect upon the sacrifice that Jesus Christ gave for us on Calvary I cannot help but be overwhelmed by his willingness to give us everything so that we can receive the miracle of salvation and reconciliation.  I'm humbled that He would come down from  heaven, live and suffer for my sake, die for my sin and raise to life just so that I can be raised to new life alongside with Him. It is His love that calls me onward...that drives me to continue running this race. He still reigns in my heart, mind and soul...He reigns!

Peace and blessings,

Elaine G.

From My Heart to Yours...Haiti

6 “No, this is the kind of fasting I want:

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;

lighten the burden of those who work for you.

Let the oppressed go free,

and remove the chains that bind people.

7 Share your food with the hungry,

and give shelter to the homeless.

Give clothes to those who need them,

and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

8 “Then your salvation will come like the dawn,

and your wounds will quickly heal.

Your godliness will lead you forward,

and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind.

9 Then when you call, the LORD will answer.

‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.” –Isaiah 58:6-9

When the cameras have gone and the troves of relief dissipate to just a few committed groups of people focused on Haiti’s renewal, I will still be there. My heart is buried deep beneath the untouched rubble found in parts of Port-Au-Prince. Four years have passed yet the slightest sight or mention of the devastation experienced in Haiti is a constant reminder of the need for action. Action that removes the chains that bind people. Action that removes the chains that have bound a people. Yes, Haiti has long since won its independence, yet it remains imprisoned to poverty. Shackled to disease. And so, my heart still breaks…because His heart still breaks. It breaks for His people, His chosen, redeemed and beloved. So as I prepare to once again venture into the nation of Haiti that I so love and cherish, it is my prayer that God will prepare me, prepare the team of 12 from HFCC to embody the call to fast for Haiti.

For some this may mean abstaining from food, social media or a favorite TV show. For me it’s committing to not eating out on my lunch hour and instead eating homemade food or fasting altogether until I have met my fundraising goal. It means dedicating that time to doing his will whether it is reading his word, writing a blog like this, researching ideas for this mission’s trip or just listening in silence for His voice. I’m sharing this because I want all of you to hold me accountable. I believe that whatever it is we fast it ought to be a sacrifice, reminding me of when King David built an altar to the Lord to stop the destruction of Israel on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite and his words “…I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” (2 Sam. 24)We are called to sacrifice to fulfill his plan. No it’s not easy to leave behind your family, to go to a foreign place and submit to doing whatever God has for you to do. It is faith that must keep you even as you wait upon God to see how He will meet your fundraising goals. It is the sacrifice that he is looking for…fasting, prayer and faith that will break chains, bind up wounds, heal, feed and clothe the hungry. For some it may be easy to just write the check and go on a mission’s trip, for me that is not an option…even if I could. Because God will supply all my needs. In His richness of glory, He already has. And how could I not offer him everything when he has given me everything. My family, my job, my dreams, my goals…all laid down upon that altar for Him. Let our sacrifice pleasing to Him; let us humbly accept this call to go forward in His name.

If you would like to help my meet my goal for this trip here are some ways to support me:

1. Prayer!!
2. Donations can be sent on my behalf to HFCC at: (Please include Haiti Missions - Elaine Glover in the notation)

           Harvest Fields Community Church

           2626 East Tremont Avenue

           Bronx, NY 10475

3. More Prayer!!

 Blessings,

Elaine G.

Vulnerability

"We share with people who earned the right to hear our story" - Dr. Brene Brown

Today marked a new season for me. Just as the changing colors of the foliage and falling leaves showcase the incoming autumn in NY so did the ripened scent of the harvest in my life ruminate my world. This day began much like many other Sundays for me. Getting the children ready for church, prepping music for our monthly visit to a local juvenile detention center. Nothing seeming different, yet everything had changed. As I began to sing to the small group of teen boys and girls gathered in the chapel something in my heart broke as it did the first time I stepped into this arena. A long misplaced sense of urgency to meet the needs of these youth, to advocate, to pray and intercede for them rose up within me. A resolve to do more than share a song...it was the beginning of the harvest.

As I later made my way to service I was moved to tears, repentance and restoration by our guest speaker who voiced an inspired word on giving God "Ugly Praise" that didn't worry about what others thought or said, but only about conveying our love and devotion to the God who has always loved us. I stood prostrate before my savior overwhelmed and humbled in the presence of his majesty. I felt him whisper into my soul how deeply and truly he loved me, how he carried me through this storm when I could no longer go on, how he would never let harm come my way. How he will always be there, devoted wholly to me. 

Today I fell deeper in love with my God, my Lord, my friend, my everything. Today he told me its over now, it's time to move forward. No more mourning, no more shame, just love, just peace, just His grace. 

And so as I "dare greatly" to once again put pen to paper (or fingers to keypad) I know that I have a story to share, a song to sing, a book to write. I hope to use this medium to share these growing pains, to hold myself accountable to moving forward as God accomplishes the good works he has planned for me long ago. I ask that you join me on the ride of lifetime...stay tuned. 

For You

I know what I gotta do 
I know what I have to say
Though I want you to stay with me
Gotta let you walk away

The purpose is clear
The plans are laid
In losing this life
You're gaining his face

Chorus:
I'm running the race, playing no games
Stretching my faith from the inside out
I'm made for this moment
Destined to move
Laying down idols and living for you

Verse:
Called to be, better than I am
Dare to dream and follow his plans
Walking down the road where others have gone
Might be losing this battle but I'm winning this war

The purpose is clear
The plans are laid
In losing this life
I'm gaining his face

(Chorus)

Oh oh oh...living for you (2x)
Dying for you

(Chorus -piano  only, Chorus full band)

© E. Glover 2012

Sex.God.

Sex with the wrong person leaves you empty, unsatisfied and ashamed. It's more than a physical connection...it's spirit meeting spirit and saying "commune with me, be one with me, let us worship together"
But if there is no love, the type demonstrated through commitment all you worship is yourself, each other and the feeling that will last only as long as your bodies are joined. And if in the intercourse you realize he's not the one, the truth that these puzzle pieces were never meant to join is as clear as when you realize you were trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. But I want the pieces to fit. The freedom to lay with a man and feel no shame after, no regret or remorse...the freedom to know that he was made to fit me and I him...by the Word that spoke all things into existence. I want my life to count, I want my love to count, my sex to be more than just an act...I want it to be worship to my creator that says I can see the big picture now...You are the big picture.

©2012 by Elaine Glover

Rainy days

Gray, rainy day. Frosted glass window pane reflecting not me but my environment. Glass so thick I can be barely see the silhouette on the other side, so thick that the booming voice on the other side is but a whisper...barely audible in the visitors room. Gray suits confirm and conform to the atmosphere that drains all color from the walls. This is the system's way of reminding us who's in control. Shackling more than arms and legs, but reprogramming minds. There is but one window in sight, barred and miniature in comparison to the large heavy steel doors which lead to endless paths. But here, on this tiny window frame sits perched, proud and resolute...a dove with an olive branch clenched in its teeth. A promise fulfilled, that is dry land awaiting me outside these troubled waters. And the realization that these four walls were not designed to contain me but to save me. Save me from the destruction I so easily allowed to prance into my life, save me from the plans I thought to be mine but actually reflect the face of the father of lies. Rumor has it he's on a rampage because the destiny set inside of me when fulfilled would do more than unlock these prison doors...it will abolish this system of mediocrity and make a new generation of status-quo challenging individuals unwilling to compromise for the momentary high. See I'm seeking the promise...the tree from which the olive branch came...its more than the allure of the knowledge of good and evil which has undone our bond to the Father, it is the Life of the Son and the living waters of the thirst-quenching Holy Spirit rising up in me and flowing over for all the world to see. Do you see?

© 2012 by Elaine Glover

Winter

Winter again. It's as if my entire universe is frozen over, snow-capped mountaintops and desolate ice-glazed fields. No fruit in sight, no life sprouting up to usher in spring. At least not above the surface of my soul.
If only seasons of our life were like seasons of the year, with a definitive beginning and end. Then at least hope would be more apparent. But there's no winter or summer solstice in the seasons of my soul. It seems as though time doesn't exist in this dimension...only it does. But perhaps I haven't learned to read it yet. Though there is one who can, for he designed this season for a purpose. He is the Author and I am the pen in his hand. The story's already told in His mind, complete and whole. Lacking nothing.
And I...I'm watching it unfold before my eyes, in the darkest of places I am being fashioned into a new creation and clinging to the promise of a happy ending.

©2012 by Elaine Glover

Weather

Weather. Funny thing how yesterday brought summer like warmth yet this morning as I left for the day the cold winter air greeted me with its familiar chill. I was so hopeful that the winter days were over that I wore yesterday's jacket leaving me exposed and unprepared for the cold I faced this morning. It's as though God is saying clearly to me "this season's not quite finished. Keep your hat, gloves and heavy coat handy or you'll wish you had it in the days ahead."
I finished a book this morning that challenged me to savor the sweetness found in bitter times, to create something beautiful out of my brokenness and to tell my story acknowledging that only I can. It's not for me that I write, though I know it heals to get it out of my mind and onto paper. I write for all those who will read it and need encouragement, the way that others words have lifted me out of dark times. They've encouraged me to persevere, they've comforted me and commiserated with me in my loneliness. They've inspired me and challenged me. In telling their stories they've spoken to me in such a powerful way that I am capable of telling my own.
Perhaps not all at once, because my biography is far from complete...but one day at a time. One triumph, one failure. One love, one heartbreak. One birth and one devastating loss at a time. And I will do it...with every poem I write, with every song I sing. With every line I recite and every word I publish.
I will tell my story because it's not mine at all...it's His. And it deserves to be heard. Weather or not the winter's over. Whether or not I think I'm ready to share.

© 2012 by Elaine Glover

Healing

I realized today that I don't think of you anymore, that the sound of your name no longer triggers memories of what used to be. Another face, another heart, another love replaced it without even trying. Little by little my mind and heart took control back...control I subconsciously gave you over my happiness. But really you're not relevant anymore...not that I wish you any harm but simply don't care. Your happiness doesn't affect my joy...and my joy has nothing to do with you. I'm content where I am, with who I am...

This is the art of healing...learning that you can't continue to put band aids over open wounds, sometimes they just need to be cleaned and left to breathe so the skin can dry and repair itself. Then a scab forms over it and all we can see is the hideous reminder of our trauma. But if we leave it alone, if we don't pick at it...it eventually peels away revealing new, untouched skin. I suppose somewhere along the way I stopped picking at the scab...I can barely see the scar now. A scar that reminds me that he can heal anything, he can resurrect new life from death...if only we leave it in His hands.


© 2012 by Elaine Glover

In and Out of Time

Today I find myself reflecting on love. Reflecting on the many definitions I made up for it over the years. Love makes me feel good, love does what I want it when I want it to. As I've matured over the years through heartache and infatuation I've come to realize that love is an action. It's a choice to be patient, to be kind, to endure, to bear all things, to NOT give up or fail. Love is taking the I and Me out of conversations and replacing it with You. I once knew a man, called him friend, called him lover. I thought I knew what it meant to love him until I walked away from him, determined it was for the best. He tried so hard to stay in my life but I pushed him away. I said it was to protect him, I consoled myself with the notion that "I wasn't what he needed, I wasn't good enough". In reality I was protecting myself, for as close as I allowed him into my life I still hid so much of what I thought he wouldn't accept or love. I made decisions for the both of us that I had no right to make. Though he stood by me through many trials, I did not stand by him. Years later, I stand aware of who I am, who I once was and who I'm called to be. I only want to bless this man's life in any way that I can. With or without me I'm sure he'll continue to succeed in all he does as he continues to commit his ways to the Father's will. I love him, I truly do...but love is an action that I must continue to display without regard to possible return on any investment I make.

© 2012 by Elaine Glover

I close with a poem I heard recited in a movie by the incomparable Maya Angelou. It reminds me that love is not all roses...but it is beautiful, if we so choose to endure and live it out.

In & Out of Time by Maya Angelou

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids...
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
Mmmm...God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares into dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.

"My Utmost for His Highest" A reflection

"I'm determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone." Reflection based on Phil. 1:20

Lord so often it seems I come to this crisis of faith. Choosing between your will and my own, seeing barely the first step in yours and the full schematic design in mine. Reason would say to choose me. But reason is at times a liar and so I go with the Holy Spirit that whispers "Surrender. My child I know what's best, lay it down. Light a fire to it and offer it up to me. Fear not for I am with you. I alone am your heart's desire, I alone can quench your thirst. These dreams are all counterfeit if I didn't write them. Lose yourself in me and find me in you."

© 2011 by Elaine Glover

Rebuild

Broken down walls reflect a broken down people
Tattered streets strewn with trash
Bare witness to the tattered hearts
Discarded, displaced
Knee deep in despair




We dig beneath the rubble
Praying for signs of life
We tell them to hold on
To cling to hope
But where is ours?

Is it in man?
Who can only do but so much
Or is it in a God who can do the impossible?

God who within me placed a dream
Not for myself, but for His people
A dream to rebuild the ruined walls
To heal the broken bodies beneath the rubble
To show a cynical world that He is God

So take in hand your weapons and your tools
and complete the work that He has given you to do

© 2011 by Elaine Glover

Sacrifice

"So the Lord said to him, "Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon." Abram brought all these to him, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other; the birds, however, he did not cut in half. Then the birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away." - Gen. 15: 9-11

As I meditated on this portion of scripture this morning, the following questions came into my mind:

How often does our sacrifice come under attack as we lay it on the altar?
Do we respond as Abram did by driving the birds of prey away or do we allow these vultures to take what we are giving to the Lord?

If we would fight to keep our sacrifice on the altar as Abram did we would see God's hand move on our behalf and experience what it truly means to see God's covenant fulfilled in our lives.

My final question to myself and anyone whose eyes have glanced across this page...
How far are we willing to go to keep our sacrifice on the altar?

© 2011 by Elaine Glover

Haiti, Peru, and God only knows what's next

So it's been quite a long time since I've posted anything to my blog and it's not that I haven't had the desire to do so, but more like there weren't enough hours in the day.

So much has changed in my life within the last six months. I went from working in a renowned engineering firm in the city to becoming the administrator for my church, Harvest Fields Community Church.

All this started with a a 7.0 earthquake that rocked the people of Haiti. A month later as my heart broke for the people devastated by this disaster I responded to the call that the Lord impressed upon me to go and make a difference for the people. So scared but determined, I took a step a faith. Not knowing how I would raise $2,000 needed to go with the organization AIM (Adventures In Missions) for their first month-long Missions Relief Trip. I prayed and I set my goals and sent my letters asking for support. I asked for His divine favor to gain support not only in monetary form but in prayer...I certainly needed more than ever.

In addition to going out to this grief stricken nation it also meant for me leaving behind my family (two children, Jay & Marc), my job security (I'd only been at the company for a few months)and certainly my comfort. I'd never considered myself to be the "missionary" type.

I know that God has called us to go and make disciples of all nations, but I much like David Platt's "Radical" notes was satisfied to send someone else. I've since learned that Jesus meant what He said when He told us to go...and now I'm determined to do just that. No, I haven't picked up and moved off to a foreign country but I believe now that if (or when) the Lord calls me to do so my answer will be "Here I am Lord send me." I've been to Haiti now twice (most recently a week ago) and plan to return and continue investing in all the Lord is doing there. But now I'm off to Peru...leading a group of growing disciples, 15 of us in all. I'm super excited and kinda nervous about what the Lord has in store for us. We'll be going from July 9th-July 15th and I hope that we all come back with a renewed perspective of all that is important to the Lord and should be important to us.

So here's where you come in...

I need to raise $1300.00 in the next three (3) months.

This amount will cover all of my travel, lodging and food expenses during this week.

More importantly it will allow us as a group to leave behind support for the ministry we partner with in Peru.We can expect to move as God directs us, this can be within a school, orphanage, hospital or in a building effort.

It is my desire to bring the people of PERU: "HELP, HOPE & HEALING."

Below is a link where you can partner with me in this effort.Money is welcomed support but prayers are necessary support.

SmartyPig Widget: "Check out my SmartyPig goals."

As always I thank you for your support and love.

Sincerely,

Elaine Glover