Rainy days

Gray, rainy day. Frosted glass window pane reflecting not me but my environment. Glass so thick I can be barely see the silhouette on the other side, so thick that the booming voice on the other side is but a whisper...barely audible in the visitors room. Gray suits confirm and conform to the atmosphere that drains all color from the walls. This is the system's way of reminding us who's in control. Shackling more than arms and legs, but reprogramming minds. There is but one window in sight, barred and miniature in comparison to the large heavy steel doors which lead to endless paths. But here, on this tiny window frame sits perched, proud and resolute...a dove with an olive branch clenched in its teeth. A promise fulfilled, that is dry land awaiting me outside these troubled waters. And the realization that these four walls were not designed to contain me but to save me. Save me from the destruction I so easily allowed to prance into my life, save me from the plans I thought to be mine but actually reflect the face of the father of lies. Rumor has it he's on a rampage because the destiny set inside of me when fulfilled would do more than unlock these prison doors...it will abolish this system of mediocrity and make a new generation of status-quo challenging individuals unwilling to compromise for the momentary high. See I'm seeking the promise...the tree from which the olive branch came...its more than the allure of the knowledge of good and evil which has undone our bond to the Father, it is the Life of the Son and the living waters of the thirst-quenching Holy Spirit rising up in me and flowing over for all the world to see. Do you see?

© 2012 by Elaine Glover

Winter

Winter again. It's as if my entire universe is frozen over, snow-capped mountaintops and desolate ice-glazed fields. No fruit in sight, no life sprouting up to usher in spring. At least not above the surface of my soul.
If only seasons of our life were like seasons of the year, with a definitive beginning and end. Then at least hope would be more apparent. But there's no winter or summer solstice in the seasons of my soul. It seems as though time doesn't exist in this dimension...only it does. But perhaps I haven't learned to read it yet. Though there is one who can, for he designed this season for a purpose. He is the Author and I am the pen in his hand. The story's already told in His mind, complete and whole. Lacking nothing.
And I...I'm watching it unfold before my eyes, in the darkest of places I am being fashioned into a new creation and clinging to the promise of a happy ending.

©2012 by Elaine Glover

Seasons Change...

September is here and summer draws to a close with every passing day. Labor Day brought with it a few clouds and the necessity of a sweater. Leaves have begun to lose their color and the weaker of trees have already began to shed.

As the summer pinks, whites and bright greens transform into autumn's yellows, auburns and browns I look back over my year. January brought with it a new year and hope for new beginnings.

As I celebrated Valentine's Day in the arms of a loved one, I couldn't imagine that March and April would bring with it confusion and compromise. Stability or at least the perception of it lost and intimacy with the saviour found. Found in the still of the night, in the solitary walks in the rain.

As summer blossoms began to bloom June brought with it death...death of love, hopes and dreams...perhaps due to overwatering of attention and time. A death that has taken the months of July, August and yes September to fully see...

A flowered plucked before it's time, a plant uprooted before it's fruit is harvested. And so what is left you ask? Soil, the gardener and the rain...oh yes and the few seeds that fell to the ground. The soil is the land that He has given. The seed is what I have to sow. The gardener...well that's me, and the rain...that's the Lord. His blessings, his perfect will and time.

I pray that as I tend to your garden and sow the seeds you have given me that you release blessing on the land like rain and produce for your kingdom everlasting fruit!

While My Heart's Breaking

“If we must part forever, Give me but one kind word to think upon,

And please myself with, while my heart’s breaking.” ~Thomas Otway

This past week has brought so many things I could not have imagined, and while many will take weeks and months to process...I must address the state of my heart.

It is broken. Shattered in pieces too numerous to count, and though there is one who can restore, rebuild and renew...the pain I am feeling is indescribable.

So instead, I will describe the love we shared. It was natural, not forced or put on. I grew closer with every conversation we had, with every moment we shared and it was divine. While I cannot predict the future, my hope and faith lies in him who has never failed me and has foreseen every minute of my life as he himself is the Author of it. Today he holds me a little bit closer as he collects the fragmented pieces of me which lie shattered on the ground. He has promised to rebuild me like he rebuilds his holy city and in him alone I put my faith.

The hardest day yet since we parted...I had today. To see you walking towards me, seemingly whole, seemingly fine...while all within me cried out to you "Why? Why? Was I not enough? Was I too much? Was our love not enough?" All of this emotion causing me to run away, rather than face the facts. I am no longer yours, and you are not mine. This is not FOREVER.

FOREVER is gone.

The Staircase

I took a stroll with the Lord today. He led me to a long staircase in the middle of a park surrounded by wilderness. And since I had just come from a two-hour workout at the gym (alright, I spent one hour in between the steam room, sauna and shower) I looked up at the massive staircase looming before me and said aloud "Lord are you serious? Do you really want me to go up there right now?"

And almost as if you chuckled a little, my heart heard your reply.

"This staircase is your life. With each few steps there is a landing, a place to rest. But of course, you're not meant to stay there. For at the top of the staircase, beyond where you can see, awaits a beautiful destiny held only for you. A place I am preparing for your arrival. Now from down there, you can only see a few flights of stairs so you will have to rust in me. And though all around you is wilderness and worn paths to the unknown, I've made this path just for you and I to travel on and I will keep you safe. Stay on course and follow me as my spirit guides. When I lead you a landing, to a place of rest, do just that...Rest. For before you lies another set of stairs and along with it another piece of the puzzle to your completion. Walk and by faith you will find all you seek."

Thank you Lord for speaking to me in such a special and real way. I will rest now, knowing that there lies so much more before me and trusting that you are my guide. I know that your plan for my life will lead me straight to your heavenly throne. I love you. I am your humbled servant and slave, for you are the Lord of my life. Lead me home.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase..." Martin Luther King Jr.