Seasons Change...

September is here and summer draws to a close with every passing day. Labor Day brought with it a few clouds and the necessity of a sweater. Leaves have begun to lose their color and the weaker of trees have already began to shed.

As the summer pinks, whites and bright greens transform into autumn's yellows, auburns and browns I look back over my year. January brought with it a new year and hope for new beginnings.

As I celebrated Valentine's Day in the arms of a loved one, I couldn't imagine that March and April would bring with it confusion and compromise. Stability or at least the perception of it lost and intimacy with the saviour found. Found in the still of the night, in the solitary walks in the rain.

As summer blossoms began to bloom June brought with it death...death of love, hopes and dreams...perhaps due to overwatering of attention and time. A death that has taken the months of July, August and yes September to fully see...

A flowered plucked before it's time, a plant uprooted before it's fruit is harvested. And so what is left you ask? Soil, the gardener and the rain...oh yes and the few seeds that fell to the ground. The soil is the land that He has given. The seed is what I have to sow. The gardener...well that's me, and the rain...that's the Lord. His blessings, his perfect will and time.

I pray that as I tend to your garden and sow the seeds you have given me that you release blessing on the land like rain and produce for your kingdom everlasting fruit!

The Harvest

Storms are brewing overhead
and beneath our feet the earth is quaking.

The time is near,
the seeds are sown,
our fruit is ripe for the taking.

And while His spirit produces gems
like patience, peace and joy,
there is a snake in our garden
who seeks to destroy,
all that the Lord has built
within His house, home and our hearts.

Lord open up our eyes to see
the devil's fiery darts
that aim to cause confusion,
pain and division.

Lord open our ears
so that we might listen,
to the promises given to your people long ago.
For now and & forever
we'll reap what we sow.

So we uproot bitterness, anger and pride.
You have no place in this house,
no place in our lives.

We open up our mouths to speak,
though we sow in tears,
in joy we'll reap.

People and Trees

People are like trees. Some grow straight up and branch in all directions. Still there are others whose branches are knotted within themselves like a Bonzai tree but well manicured on the surface. And then there are those whose branches move with the wind while their leaves blow with the breeze drooping to the ground.



I wonder, what kind of tree am I?

In Your Garden

To be in your garden for just one day

To sit in the glory of what your hands have made

To taste of your fruits and drink in your smells

To wal kdown the paths your feet have tread

To sit and talk awhile, this is what the heart longs for

Life with you before the fall.

Letting Go

“Let go” he whispers softly in my ear

My heart breaks at his request

“Give him unto me” he gently chides

and “I will, I will but not yet”, I stubbornly reply

First please answer my question,

“Why? Why?”

All is silent. All is still,

‘cept for my falling tears and aching heart.

“Although you love him well,

you must know I loved him from the start.”

“I do Lord, I know it to be true.

But why can’t I love him along with you?”

“Beloved, all this I ask of you

is nothing less than what I’ve asked of him too.

I’m asking you to both let go,

Your love is shown in this.

Surrender all to me alone

For to you I promise this

In due season you shall reap a harvest

Plentiful and ripe

If you do not lose heart,

If walk you by faith instead of sight”

And so my heart is not lost, it is your hands.

And my walk is by faith, faith that we shall meet again.

While My Heart's Breaking

“If we must part forever, Give me but one kind word to think upon,

And please myself with, while my heart’s breaking.” ~Thomas Otway

This past week has brought so many things I could not have imagined, and while many will take weeks and months to process...I must address the state of my heart.

It is broken. Shattered in pieces too numerous to count, and though there is one who can restore, rebuild and renew...the pain I am feeling is indescribable.

So instead, I will describe the love we shared. It was natural, not forced or put on. I grew closer with every conversation we had, with every moment we shared and it was divine. While I cannot predict the future, my hope and faith lies in him who has never failed me and has foreseen every minute of my life as he himself is the Author of it. Today he holds me a little bit closer as he collects the fragmented pieces of me which lie shattered on the ground. He has promised to rebuild me like he rebuilds his holy city and in him alone I put my faith.

The hardest day yet since we parted...I had today. To see you walking towards me, seemingly whole, seemingly fine...while all within me cried out to you "Why? Why? Was I not enough? Was I too much? Was our love not enough?" All of this emotion causing me to run away, rather than face the facts. I am no longer yours, and you are not mine. This is not FOREVER.

FOREVER is gone.

The Staircase

I took a stroll with the Lord today. He led me to a long staircase in the middle of a park surrounded by wilderness. And since I had just come from a two-hour workout at the gym (alright, I spent one hour in between the steam room, sauna and shower) I looked up at the massive staircase looming before me and said aloud "Lord are you serious? Do you really want me to go up there right now?"

And almost as if you chuckled a little, my heart heard your reply.

"This staircase is your life. With each few steps there is a landing, a place to rest. But of course, you're not meant to stay there. For at the top of the staircase, beyond where you can see, awaits a beautiful destiny held only for you. A place I am preparing for your arrival. Now from down there, you can only see a few flights of stairs so you will have to rust in me. And though all around you is wilderness and worn paths to the unknown, I've made this path just for you and I to travel on and I will keep you safe. Stay on course and follow me as my spirit guides. When I lead you a landing, to a place of rest, do just that...Rest. For before you lies another set of stairs and along with it another piece of the puzzle to your completion. Walk and by faith you will find all you seek."

Thank you Lord for speaking to me in such a special and real way. I will rest now, knowing that there lies so much more before me and trusting that you are my guide. I know that your plan for my life will lead me straight to your heavenly throne. I love you. I am your humbled servant and slave, for you are the Lord of my life. Lead me home.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase..." Martin Luther King Jr.